Filed under: Around Azeroth

Oh, spontaneous human combustion, you've claimed yet another victim. "I was just doing a mount run through heroic Magister's Terrace when my paladin amassed so much holy power that she became a being of pure light!" writes Aprilwind of Casual Tees on Muradin. "It's pretty bright, so you might want to wear sunglasses."

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Hello. Azerothian Automobile Association? I need a little help figuring out my location. Yes, I know that I have "The Explorer" as a title, but that's merely an attempt at a pun rather than an accurate assessment of my navigation abilities. My hearthstone's on cooldown, the only map I've got seems to be covered in tears and bloodstains rather than text, and if I don't make it to this guild meeting I'm not raiding for a month. I'm somewhere between the golden fish statue and the archway with the evil octopus. Get me out of here! (Thanks to Dôra of Downfall on Boulderfist [US-H] for the screenshot.)

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This is what The Wizard of Oz might have looked like if Dorothy had downed a couple of shots of Jack Daniels before following the yellow brick road. The pink elekk roaming the left side of the screenshot are a nice touch. (Thanks to Shofie of Raids Without Pants on Steamwheedle Cartel [US-A] for this .... HA! She's wearing pants in her Armory profile! I finally caught one of them wearing pants! Will she get /gkicked now?)

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Has Khal Drogo been skulking around Ironforge? 'Cause it looks like someone just got a molten crown. Archidin of Punish on Alterac Mountains seems to be taking it a little better than the original recipient, though. Mmm ... Game of Thrones. And True Blood. And Boardwalk Empire. Some days, I feel I just should rename this column to A Love Song to HBO Original Series and be done with it.

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"After a reasonably messy kill on Atramedes, I wandered out of the boss chamber to find our resident kitty druid, Soóty, with her cub," writes Exravier of The Mob on Terokkar (EU-A). "This didn't particularly surprise me as she had brought in the cub to learn how to hunt dragons (among other things.) From what I could gather between growls and purrs, she was educating her cub in the finer points of stalking prey, especially prey that is much larger than she was. I took a picture of the moment for the guild's photograph book, but Soóty was not impressed with the invasion of her offspring's privacy. She promptly pounced and began to give her cub a demonstration of how to maul a blood death knight. Needless to say, it hurt, and it took the other tank plus a rogue using Evasion to get her off of me. I just hope she doesn't see this photo getting posted online."

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Mmm ... cat. Of all the monsters inhabiting Azeroth, how come we never get to see anything eating anything else, other than the occasional wolf chowing down on a helpless bunny? At least one mob remembered its carnivorous nature, though, and attempted to make a meal of Zenden of Obsidian Order on Moon Guard (US-H). But Zenden performed that awful kicking with his back claws maneuver that cats do when they're cornered, managing to take down the dragon before he got devoured.

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There certainly are a lot of good pictures of the Al'Akir encounter, aren't there? I suppose there's not much else to do when you're punted off the roof and falling to your death. Proud Alliance stalwart Dogtag of Madhouse Inmates on Bronzebeard (EU-A) submitted this picture as one of "a great many" he took while awaiting his imminent demise.

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This is the visual equivalent of every in-game guild meeting I've ever attended. The guild master is trying to get everyone to pay attention, but everybody else is running around staring at shiny things and showing off their outfits. And at least one person is falling-down drunk (as evidenced by the fuzziness of the shot). Thanks to Palamino of The Risen on Thorium Brotherhood (US-H) for the screenshot (and to his guild leader Fuzzwold for not losing it and /gkicking everybody).

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We've featured this underwater boneyard before -- but from the other side, so we didn't get a good look at all the little fish skeletons in the belly of the big fish. "I was feverishly swimming around in Aquatic Form picking up any herbs I could get my fins on before a raid one night," writes Kythlar of Ready Check on Dragonmaw (US-H). "When making a quick pass through the Abandoned Reef, I saw out of the corner of my eye what appeared to be a very large skull off in the distance. The curious cat inside me said, 'Plz?'

"So I swam and I swam. Then swam some more. I couldn't see the bottom of the ocean below me and could barely make out the Eastern Kingdom continental shelf that I had swam from. And then I swam some more. A rock formation became clear, and it became very evident that I had stumbled across a forgotten graveyard of giant dragons or oceanic beasts. For some reason, there is this strange orb near the neck of the largest skeleton. I thought to myself, 'What in Azeroth is that!?' Before I could finish my thoughts, I was pulled away to a graveyard halfway across Azeroth in the Southern Barrens of Kalimdor. Who knew graveyards could be so deadly?"

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So you want me to get off the queen's memorial, Mr. Cryptkeeper? Listen up, bub. I'm a crow. Hanging around cemeteries looking ominous is kind of my thing. I'm certainly not planning on switching to cat form, stealthing, and then looting Queen Tiffin's tomb of the thousands of gold worth of jewels and treasure buried with her, if that's what you're suggesting. Ow! Stop hitting me with that broom! This is a public space, and you'll be hearing from my lawyer! (Thanks to Capboom of Order of Time on Eldre'Thalas [US-A] for the screenshot!)

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Continuing this week's Brewfest and alcohol consumption theme, Lrahal of Underground Mercenaries on Thrall (US-H) had a bit too much to drink in Dalaran and had to be escorted home. Luckily for Lrahal, her priestly sister is a bit more serious about abstinence from worldly pleasures and was sober enough to levitate her back to her apartment without crashing into anything too fragile.

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Drinking in the middle of the day while sitting on a bench in a snow-covered wasteland? For some reason, I'm reminded of my days at the University of Wisconsin. "I couldn't resist making the trip to Ironforge to see whether the Brewfest set-up crew had finally arrived," writes Sapientia of BloodStorm Knights on Dark Iron (US-A). "I may be a whole week early, but so what? As you can tell from this picture, I wasn't disappointed. As they say, the early bird always gets the worm ... or in this case, the brew."

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"Who do you have to plague to get a drink around here?" queries Amanji of The Insiders on Zangarmarsh (US-H). "My ghoul and I were recently on a literary and archaeological excursion spanning Westfall, Stranglethorn Vale, and southeastern Kalimdor. After finding a few books at Bael'dun Keep, we decided to have a drink before leaving. Unfortunately, the service left much to be desired; the bartender never showed himself, and the staff didn't exactly make us feel welcome. We ended up having some warm Binary Brew from my bags instead on our way back to Thunder Bluff."

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Having spent most of the past weekend working on a soccer stand-by ambulance crew with a rabid Chelsea fan, I am incapable of seeing this screenshot as anything other than a dragon kicking around a soccer ball. Halrandir of Midnight Cartel on Elune (US-A) has a different, nerdier explanation: "Thanks for the magical construct, Anachronos, but could you have made it look a bit less like something that will offer me non-existent cake and try to run me through a maze into fire?"

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I didn't think that there was a way to take a shaky-camera screenshot in WoW, but Karnn of Exodar (US-H) has somehow managed it with this nausea-inducing picture of a flower. Or perhaps it's just a regular screenshot of some excessively curtained blood elf architecture. Who knows? But if someone manages to get a blurry picture of their own thumb in a screenshot, that's the day I quit.

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